6 Ways to Multiply Confidence Exponentially

Have you ever gone into an audition or performance situation where you’re feeling pretty good about what you’re about to play or sing? 

You’ve practiced. You’ve prepared.  And then she walks in…

She looks perfect. She looks totally relaxed and confident.  You just know she’s going to throw your performance under the bus and stomp on it with her perfectly manicured toes.

Wait! Where did your confidence go?  It was just right here! 

Is it in your bag? Nope.  Stuck between the pages of your music books? Nu-uh.

Oh wait! There it goes!  Some hooded figure tossed a bag over its head and rushed out the back door with it!

What just happened?! Who was that??

You hear a wicked laugh, which you’d recognized anywhere…

Comparison.

Confidence vs Comparison

When you compared yourself to the person who you felt was better than you, that act of comparison kidnapped your confidence and ran off with it faster than you could say “huh?” 

Confidence and comparison cannot coexist.  (Oh! Look at all those C-words! I love accidental alliterations, which "accidental alliteration" was not, that one was intentional.) 

“Well, what if I compare myself to someone that I’m better than?  Won’t that make me feel more confident?”

Nope!  It certainly will not. 

When you compare yourself to someone that you think you’re better than, you just get prideful and cocky and maybe start acting like a bit of a jerk.  I’m not naming names here, I’m just sayin’ if the shoe fits, kick it off and find some better shoes.

Really, though.  Think about it.  

Do you feel confident and poised when you compare yourself to someone that you’re better than?  

Not really.  You become kind of smug and a bit rude. 

The Confidence Multiplication System

Okay, so how should we approach situations, especially naturally competitive ones like auditions and competitions, with confidence and not comparison?  

Well, it depends on how you’re feeling about the so-called competition.

If you’re feeling like everyone else is better than you are, you can maintain your confidence by doing one, two, or all three of the following:

1. Appreciate their hard work.  

This person clearly put a lot of work into their appearance and their performance.  Instead of feeling intimidated by that hard work, appreciate it.

It’s said that hard work beats talent every time when talent doesn’t work hard.  Anyone can work hard.  Yes, anyone.  Even you!  Which brings me to my second point.

2. Appreciate your hard work.  

You did work hard, didn’t you?  You didn’t?  Well, no wonder you don’t feel confident about your performance today.  It’s not the other person’s fault. 

Oh, wait. You did work hard?  Good for you! 

If you worked hard and you bring your best to this audition or competition, who cares what the other people do?  All you can do is work your hardest and bring your best and leave it up to the judges to decide. 

You may think that you’re not as good as another person is, but the judges may be looking for things that you did not even realize you had!

3. Compliment them.  

If you’re feeling intimidated by the competition, take a moment to compliment them on something – their outfit, their hair, their bag, or their performance if you had a chance to hear it. 

If they’re a pretty cool person like you are (I know you are because you’re still reading this), they will appreciate your compliment and may return the favor, which would be a total boost to your confidence and theirs! Win-win!  

You just multiplied the available confidence in the room!  Well done!

What if you’re feeling like the most talented person in the room who other people are intimidated by?  How can you remain cool and humble instead of cocky and rude?  I’m so glad you asked!

1. Compliment someone else.  

When you take the time to compliment another performer, you accomplish that confidence-multiplication thing and boost their confidence as well as yours!  I mean, do you ever feel less confident after you’ve paid someone a genuine compliment?

You know how it feels to be scared and intimidated by other seemingly more talented musicians.  How would you feel if one of those awesome musicians came by and told you that you were doing a good job?  

Amazing.  That’s how you’d feel!

2. Encourage someone else. 

This is similar to point 1, but if you cannot honestly find something positive to compliment the other person on, you can make something up!

Wait, no. We want to remain honest here, guys. 

Instead of complimenting them on something, you could give them a bit of encouragement.  Something as simple as “Hey! I hope you do well in there!” can really do a lot to encourage a newcomer to the industry or someone who looks really nervous.

But seriously, if you can't find something to compliment them on, you're not trying very hard.

3. Share some advice.  

This must be done from a point of genuine care and humility, lest you come across as a know-it-all, which is not the goal here.  If you see someone doing something that you used to do before an audition or performance, you could approach them using the Feel-Felt-Found method, which goes like this. 

“I used to FEEL nervous when I came to auditions like these.  

I FELT that if I did not do my absolute best, my life and career would be over before it began.  

I FOUND that even the worst audition is quickly forgotten by everyone else and would not be harmful to my career as a whole.  As a matter of fact, terrible auditions can be quite beneficial if you view them as a learning experience. I’ve had my fair share of bad auditions, and here I am today, still performing!”

Once again, all three of these things serve to multiply the confidence of both people in the situation. 

Conclusion

Comparison will always wreck your confidence, whether you're comparing yourself to someone better or worse than you are.  

It’s best instead to appreciate everyone’s hard work – including your own - and to encourage and compliment the performers around you. 

This results in that awesome confidence multiplication that we talked about twice already.

Side benefit: In addition to everything mentioned thus far, when you compliment, encourage, or share some advice, you just might make a new friend, and Lord knows we musicians need all the friends we can get.

Speaking of friends, I have so enjoyed meeting new people from all over the world on Instagram!  If you’d like to be my friend on Instagram, look me up @confidentmusicians!  I’m always up for meeting new musician and non-musician friends! 

Now go forth multiply confidence wherever you are!

7 Things I Learned During my First Week on Instagram

I joined Instagram this week! 

At the encouragement of my friend Ryan Dalgliesh of R T Dalgliesh Fine Art, I did a little Googling about Instagram and decided to take the plunge! 

And plunge I did!  I posted 34 times in the last 6 days!

Now that I’m an Instagram expert (hahahaha!), I want to share with you 7 things that I learned that you could also use to up your Instagram game!

1. If you’re not using hashtags, you’re not really Instagramming.

Hashtags, the tags with a pound sign in front of it like #music or #confidentmusicians, are your connection to the vast world outside of your world. 

If you are content to only share content with your friends/followers, then you can skip hashtagging and move on to point #3.  

If you’re like me and want to meet new people and make connections all over the world, then hashtagging is a must!

2. If you’re not using the right hashtags, you’re not reaching the right people.

On Facebook, I always thought it was fun to make up ridiculous, silly, extra long hashtags just for a laugh. #yesIknowitsfoolishtoarguewithatoddler for example.  Surprisingly, there are no other posts with that hashtag.  

On Instagram, though, if no one else is using that hashtag, then you and your friends are the only ones who will see it.  (There are however 9.6 million posts with the hashtag #toddler.)

Less is More is Less. 

I thought I wanted my posts to go on the feeds with the largest number of posts, but last night I posted something with the hashtag #moms and when I went to look for my post in the #moms feed 30 minutes later, there were at least 30 other posts above mine in the "Most Recent" category.  So, though lots of people are using and probably viewing that hashtag, it is also easy to get lost in the crowd.

Relevant

Your hashtag should not only be relevant to what is in your post; it should also be relevant to the types of people you want your post to reach.  

I posted something about music theory (as I often do) and decided to tag every popular orchestra instrument, knowing that these fellow music-readers would appreciate what I had posted.  Though my post said nothing specific about flutes, trumpets, or violins, the content was something relevant and helpful to them.  And I ended up with a lot of likes and follows from trumpet players, flute players, and a one-girl band

3.  If you want to see your private messages, you click on the little paper airplane looking thing on the top right of the screen.

Oh. My. Gosh.  I just now realized WHY that’s the icon they chose.  It’s like writing a note, folding it into a paper airplane, and tossing it across the Internet to its recipient!  I spent a couple of days going to a person’s profile and clicking “Message” in order to read their response! 

4. If you want to make real connections, you have to be real.

There are enough fake profiles and fake people in the world to last a thousand lifetimes.  

Why not mix it up and be yourself?  No, you don’t have to air all your dirty laundry or confess everything you ever did wrong (Those are the same thing, aren’t they?).  

But you should post things that you genuinely care about.  Some people may think that what you care about is dumb, but since there's no "dislike" button on Instagram, those people will likely just keep scrolling and not waste time posting a comment to share how they feel

There are other people out there who will say “Oh my gosh, I feel the EXACT same way!” and leave you a like and probably a comment, too!   

Boom! Instant friend!  (Insta-friend? Wait, no, they call them followers, not friends.)

5. If you want people to like and follow you, like and follow them!

Let me clarify.  As I said in point 4, you have to be real.  

Don’t just go find random people, like 7 of their posts, follow them, and expect them to jump on your train.  Find people whose posts you really do like and do more than just like their post, write a comment!  

I light up anytime someone writes a comment on one of my posts!  If I’m really interested in a person’s profile, I’ll even send a DM to find out more about their goals, their music, their inspiration, or their backstory.   

If you show genuine interest in other people, they will show genuine interest in you.  

6. There are enough followers to go around. 

Instagram is not a competition.  Just because someone has 10x as many followers as you do, doesn’t make them a better person/musician/teacher/student/whatever.  

If you see someone on Instagram who you might consider your “competition,” check out what they’re doing and see what you can learn from them!  

Follow them. Like and comment on a few posts.  They may choose to follow you and learn something from your posts, too!  

Win-win!  

They may even encourage their followers to check out what you’re doing.  You never know!

7. Just post it!

It doesn't have to be perfect.  It doesn't have to be beautiful.  It doesn't have to be popular.  If it's something that interests or amuses or concerns you, post it!  

Post a picture of that obscure Russian novel that you're reading.  There are currently 22,629 posts with the hashtag #russianliterature! I bet at least one of them is about the same book you're reading!

So much fun!

I am having a blast on Instagram!  I have met people from all over the world, whose passions include everything from marketing for musicians to creating inspirational jewelry out of old books. 

I am a brand new baby Instagram rookie with so much still to learn! But I love learning new things, so it should be fun!

I would love for you to join me on Instagram @confidentmusicians !  

Send me a message or tag me in a comment if you’d like for me check out how you’re rocking the Instagram game!

Now go forth and post something!

6 Ways to Have Your Most Successful Semester Ever – FREE printables!

Students these days are busier than ever before.  

Between class, rehearsals, homework, performances, work, social activities, family time, social media, and more, it seems impossible to get it all done!

The following six practices will help you to have the most successful semester ever! 

Don’t believe me? Use this 5-day weekend to make a plan and see if next week isn't more successful.

1. Plan how you spend your time or wonder where it went.

I was first introduced to this concept by Dave Ramsey in regards to money.  If we don’t budget our finances, we are left at the end of the month wondering where all of our money went. 

The same happens with our time.  If we do not plan how we are going to spend our time, we will find ourselves at the end of the day, week, month, or semester wondering where all the time went.  

We only have 24 hours in every day and 7 days in every week.  If we don’t plan how we will spend our time, someone else will plan it for us, and their plans will further their dreams and goals, not ours.

2. Even 10 minutes can make a big difference.

Last week, a student told me that they were unable to practice much the week before.  I encouraged her to find just 10 minutes a day to practice.  Those 10 minutes can really add up! 

Sometimes when you sit down to spend 10 minutes doing something, before you know it, you end up spending 15 or 20 or 40 or 60 minutes on that task. 

If you only spend 10 minutes, you’re still 10 minutes further along with that task than you were before!  

In her lesson today, my student remarked that those 10 minute practice sessions really did make a difference!

3. Schedule breaks, buffer zones, and transitional times.

I am addicted to being productive.  Rest feels like a waste of time.  Socializing is a luxury I can’t afford because I have way too much going on.  I jam-pack my schedule with back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to…- you get the point – commitments.  It’s no wonder I’ve been so stressed!

Breaks.

I was reminded by my friend Sarah Petty of Sage Advice Wellness that stress causes so many mental, emotional, and physical issues in our lives.  When I look at breaks as something healthy for me like a bowl of vegetables, I allow myself to do something good for myself by scheduling 15- or 30-minute breaks where I can get away from work and get outside or have lunch with a friend or two or four, as the case was today.

Also, your brain can really only focus hard for about 45-65 minutes at a time, so a break allows your brain to revive itself before you continue working. 

Buffer zones. 

When my schedule is so full, if one thing runs longer than expected, everything else suffers.  My poor kids suffer the wrath of their running-late mama more often than I care to admit. Buffer zones allow for something to take a little bit longer than expected - like putting on a toddler’s shoes - without causing you to run late to the next thing on the list.

Transitional times. 

Transitional times are different than buffer zones because they are an intentional time to shift mental gears from one task to another.  Teaching theory, teaching music appreciation, and teaching piano lessons, though all teaching, require a different mindset.  When I have a few minutes scheduled between each task, I can shift gears more effectively.

4. Group similar activities together.

I have raved about batching on Facebook a lot lately!  Batching is the practice of doing similar tasks all at once. 

I am currently working on a project that has bi-weekly lessons with ten components in each lesson.  Those components are similar from lesson to lesson, but not exactly the same.  When I sit down to create a lesson and try to create one of each component to put into the lesson, it is very tedious and arduous and other –ous words that mean “not fun.”

This weekend, however, I sat down and made twelve of Component 1, twelve of Component 2, twelve of Component 3, and so on.  I was able to focus on one particular type of task that I repeated twelve times instead of shifting gears between ten different types of things.  It went much more smoothly and made the final assembling of the next twelve lessons much smoother as well!

Anytime you can group similar tasks together, your brain does not require transition time (see #3) and can work more efficiently.  Who doesn’t like a more efficient brain? (Put your hand down, Husband.)

5. Plan your day the night before.

This advice has been shared by many authors and speakers, but I was most recently reminded of it by Kenn Hughes, Chair of the Department of Music at the University of Mobile.  

When we take the time to plan our day before we go to sleep, we are able to be so much more prepared in the morning. 

When I don’t plan ahead, I am running like crazy trying to get everything done and everyone out the door on time.  

I end up having to print things out at the last minute, hoping the printer works and has ink and paper.  I realize that the healthiest thing I have to offer my son for lunch is cheese puffs and a honey bun.  I also realize that I should have done a load of laundry the night before because now my 2-year old is throwing down because she wants to wear her puppy shirt which is still dirty. 

If you take even 10 minutes (see #2) to consider what all is going on the next day, you can preempt so much of the morning craziness by preparing the night before, which leads me to my last point.

6. Establish routines, especially for the mornings and before bed.

I have recently gotten back in the habit of writing down the things that must be done each night before bed and each morning before we leave for school.  

When my mind is exhausted, I can look at that list and remember to grab the lunches that I did manage to pack the night before.  I am also reminded to put shoes on my daughter, which I completed neglected to do earlier this week.

People these days are busier than ever before.  Anything you can do to help your brain not have to think as much is much appreciated by your mind and body.  Writing down these routines gives you less to have to remember each night and each morning. 

Free printable schedule

To help you plan your days, including breaks, 10-minute activities, and morning and evening routines, I’ve created 6 simple printable weekly schedules that includes these 6 practices on the top or bottom of the schedule. 

Click here and in exchange for nothing more than your e-mail address and first name, I will send you all 6 printable weekly schedules in both PDF and Excel formats. 

I want you to have the most successful semester ever!  It all starts with taking control of your time by creating a plan!

Click here to start becoming more successful!

3 Reasons to Do Away with Homework in College

I remember it like it was yesterday…perhaps you do, too…

*cue flashback music*

The lights are low in my dorm room. Midnight is fast approaching. 

Unfinished homework is piled as high as the unwashed laundry. (Or is that laundry clean? Better wash it again just to be sure.)

“How could they do this to me???”  I ask no one in particular.

“Don’t they know I have other classes?”

“Don’t they know I have to work to afford to come here?”

“Don’t they understand how many rehearsals I have this week? Not to mention having to practice for applied lessons!”

“Why? Why is homework even a thing?”

The Origins and the End of Homework

Homework has been around since the invention of homework.  Since then students have had to bear the unbearable burden of homework. 

I propose we do away with all homework and teach everything that is necessary during class time and require nothing extra of our students.

I have 3 excellent reasons to support my proposal.

1. Homework is brain altering.

When you sit down to work on an assignment and have to remember what was taught in class AND apply it to the homework, your brain starts to change!  New pathways are formed as new skills are developed. 

I’m sorry, but I did not sign up for involuntary brain transformation! 

And to make it worse, the more homework you do the more your brain changes to adapt to the new skills!  

This is dangerous stuff that we are exposing our students to on a regular basis!

2. Homework is a waste of time.

There is way too much going on during college to waste so many hours of the day doing homework.  This is not helping students prepare for real life. 

They certainly won’t need any of these ridiculous organizational skills that come with having to balance class, homework, rehearsals, work, social life, spiritual life, their health, and everything else.  

When students graduate, they will have plenty of time and not have to manage their time carefully to get everything done.  

All they will have to worry about upon graduation is finding a job, finding a place to live, buying their own groceries, taking care of themselves, going to work, going to church, making time for friends and family, getting married, having kids, continuing to practice their craft, continuing to educate themselves in their field, and a few other things. 

Who seriously needs time management skills to handle that kind of stuff?

3. Homework is soul crushing.

When students receive a graded assignment, marked with corrections and instruction on how to do better the next time, their weaknesses are revealed to both them and their instructor.  

No one likes to have their weaknesses exposed like that.  It is devastating!

When students realize what they’re doing wrong, they are faced with the choice to keep doing it wrong or make a change and do better.  If we never give them any homework, then they never have to face this uncomfortable choice.

Once they graduate, they will always do everything right the first time and never have to handle corrections and figure out how to do something better the next time. 

We really should stop exposing our students to such negativity.

My Proposal

I propose that going forward, we should teach our hearts out in class and expect that every student understand what we say the first time.  

There’s no reason to waste their time and crush their souls and alter their brains with assignments that cause them to practice and grow the skills that they are paying thousands upon thousands of dollars to learn.  As long as they get passing grades on their transcript, what does it matter if they actually learn anything?

It’s not our jobs to give them every opportunity to grow and not only learn skills related to our class but also skills that will benefit them through the rest of their lives – like how to manage their time or how to handle making mistakes. 

And don’t even get me started on requiring students to practice 30-60 minutes per day 5 times a week.  

I mean, how is that fair? 

The teacher only teaches for 30 minutes and the student has to go practice 5 times that much.  

All this practicing does the same thing homework does – alters their brains, consumes their time, and reveals room for improvement.

I’m so ashamed of us teachers for exposing our poor, sweet, innocent students to such terrible things. 

*Endnote - In case you weren’t sure, this article was in fact satirical…which means I don’t actually believe anything that I am proposing. Also, I am not critiquing any teachers' policies concerning whether or not they choose to assign homework.  One of my students asked "Why homework??" so this is my response. 

5 Reasons You Should Try New Things

I tried something new today!  

I recorded and submitted audition videos for the Elvis-themed jazz band concert at the University of Mobile on April 2.  (Buy tickets here! It will be a great show whether I make it or not!)

At the Jazz Band concert last semester I said to myself “That looks like a lot of fun. I should audition for the next one!”

Instead of talking myself out of it, which I almost did two or three or 30 times, I decided it was time to try a new thing!

Here are five reasons why YOU should try something new, too!

1. Variety is the spice of life. 

Trying new things keeps life interesting!  

Read a new genre of fiction.  Take a different route to school.  Listen to a new style of music.  Try a new food.  

Maybe you hate all of the new things you try, but at least you tried, and that in and of itself gives you an interesting story to share, but it’s also possible that….

2. You might find something you enjoy.   

When you try that new food, new music, new book, new workout, new whatever, you may find something that you really enjoy!  

I never would have thought that I would enjoy Zumba until I tried it with a friend.  I thought I hated mushrooms until a friend sautéed them for me.  I never would have thought that I would enjoy role-playing games (RPGs) with dice and character creation and monsters, but I do!  

You never know what you might find to make your life more enjoyable, but even more than that…

3. You may discover something that you are really good at.

It’s very possible that there is something out there that you could do really well if you just gave it a try.  It’s silly to think that you already know everything you are good at.  

You may be really good at teaching 4-year olds about music.  You might excel at Excel and creating spreadsheets.  Maybe you have a hidden knack for marketing.  

You won’t know unless you try new things.  But be warned, when you try new things…

4. You will fail...a lot.

Wait a minute, you say.  I thought this post was 5 reasons why I should try new things.  Failing sounds like a reason not to try. 

Failure is something we’ve been trained to avoid, but the more we fail, the easier it gets to pick ourselves up and try again. 

When you fail at something, you can quit or you can learn from it and keep going.

I may not be selected to perform in the Jazz Band concert.  I could take that as a sign to quit trying, or I could look forward to auditioning next semester and figure out what I could do better next time. 

Failure is an excellent teacher if we will take the time to learn from it, but the best reason to try new things is that…

5. You will experience life.

In the role-playing game that I play, you gain experience points (XP) for what you do in the game.  Whether you succeed or fail, you gain XP because you have experienced something.  Defeat the enemy. Gain XP.  Get your tail handed to you and run away to fight another day. Gain XP.

Do you feel like your life is too busy for new experiences?  Be intentional about approaching day-to-day tasks in a new way. 

Have a picnic dinner on the floor or outside instead of at the table.  It doesn’t take much more time, but you’re creating an experience.

If your instrument is portable, go play outside, in the woods, at the beach, downtown, somewhere that will create an experience.

Be intentional about the experiences you create for yourself and the people around you. 

What are you going to try first?! 

I’d love to hear what new thing you’re going to try first! 

Comment on this post or send me an email at gtlockhart2010@gmail.com.

You can watch my audition videos, too, if you'd like!