How to Handle Criticism with Grace and Confidence

How should we respond when we face criticism?


Not if…when.  


When you try something new, you will face criticism.  

When you take an unusual path, you will face criticism.

When you don’t do it – whatever “it” is – the same way most people do “it,” you will face criticism. 

When you put yourself out there, you will face criticism. 

When you follow your dream, you will face criticism. 

When you follow the Lord, you will definitely face criticism. 


What do we do when this guaranteed criticism crosses our paths?


Count it all Joy

James writes that we are to “count it all joy” when we face trials of various kinds, for the testing of our faith produces steadfastness.  

Steadfastness.  That’s a big Bible word that we don’t use much these days.  

To be steadfast is to be “marked by firm determination or resolution; not shakeable” (Vocabulary.com/dictionary/steadfast).  

I literally got chills reading that definition!  When we face trials of various kinds, including criticism, we become firm, determined, resolute, and unshakeable.  That is a joyful outcome for sure!


Be Gentle

Solomon was the wisest man to ever live.  In the book of Proverbs, he advises his son concerning how to respond to others.  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov 15:1). 

When naysayers tell you that your dream is foolish or that you can’t do “it” that way because it’s always been done this way, respond gently.  This person is not likely to change how they feel about what you’re doing, so don’t waste your time trying to convince them.   

Solomon then says “the tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly” (Prov 15:2).  I can’t say for sure if your critic is foolish or wise, but you can be wise and gentle instead of foolish and angry.  

You can also show them love.  People who are always critical are usually nursing wounds of their own and could use an extra helping of love.


A Word of Caution

You must use discernment when someone comes to you with a concern about what you’re doing.  James says we should be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (1:19).

People who love you may come and voice genuine concern about what you are doing.  You should not be quick to dismiss their concern, but consider what they have to say.  

However, if someone comes at you with blatant negativity and no interest in seeing you do something better with your life, be gentle, be kind, and grow in steadfastness as you continue toward your goal.


Your Worst Critic

We’ve all heard the phrase “You’re your own worst critic” (I had to read that sentence three time to be sure I used the correct you’re/your.).  This is a terrible since you are always with yourself.  

On the flipside, you could also become your own biggest fan!  I reference Mel Robbins’ book The 5 Second Rule in my very first post to help you overcome not wanting to go practice.  

You can also use this 5-4-3-2-1 technique to banish your inner critic and become your biggest fan. 

When you notice yourself saying “This is dumb.  Why am I doing this?  I will never amount to anything.  I might as well change my major/career now.”   Stop those negative, usually untrue, thoughts in their tracks by saying “5-4-3-2-1” and something true.  

“This is dumb...5-4-3-2-1...No, this may be off the beaten path and look ridiculous to others, but this is awesome and adventuresome!”

“Why am I doing this?...5-4-3-2-1…I am doing this because I love it and I’m excited by it and I’m passionate about it!”

“I will never amount to anything…5-4-3-2-1…God know what I will amount to and it’s greater than I can imagine.”

“I might as well change my major/career now…5-4-3-2-1…Nothing good follows the phrase ‘I might as well.’ I will continue on this path, giving it my all, and see how it all turns out!”


I Believe in You

Whoever you are, I believe in you.  I believe in you because whether you believe in Him or not, you were created by God and you have a purpose for existing.  Deep down inside, you know what that purpose is.  

You may not know the big picture, but you know what you’re to do right now, so do it with all that you are.  Be the best student, the best fast food worker, the best teacher, the best retail worker, the best friend, the best sibling, the best child, the best leader…the best person you know how to be. 

I believe in you and you should believe in you, too!

So go out and do your thing and encourage someone else by believing in them to do their thing!